If you have the opportunity to tour St. Patrick’s Cathedral in Dublin you will see an old wooden door with a hole cut into it. The “Door of Reconcilliation” is said to be the place where the phrase, “chance your arm” was coined. This phrase may be used here in the States, but I only first heard it spoken when I was in Ireland. It refers to a person ‘taking a risk’ as in, “I may chance my arm and ask for a raise” or, “Life is full of exciting surprises if you chance your arm.”
The story behind this door and the phrase attached to it is that, in 1492 there was an ongoing bloody, feud between two prominant Irish families, the Ormonds and the Kildares. During a confrontation in Dublin, the Earl of Ormond, James Butler, along with several of his men, took refuge in the Chapter House of St. Patrick’s Cathedral, behind this very door. Butler’s enemy, Gerald Fitzgerald, the Earl of Kildare, stood on the other side of the door. Fitzgerald decided, in his desire to end the bloodshed, to make a peace offering. To prove his good intentions and honor, he ordered his soldiers to cut a hole through the door and then bravely, “chanced his arm” by thrusting it through the hole in the offer of a handshake of friendship. In doing so, he risked having his arm sliced off by Butler and his men. However, Butler magnanimously accepted this offer of reconciliation and with a handshake through the hole in the door, the feud was ended, and Fitzgerald was able to return home with both arms intact! Thus, in this case anyway, chancing an arm had paid off.
As a mother, I have in some cases advised my children to chance their arms… as evidence of this, one has a BA in English Literature and the other is about to finish a BFA at a Theatre Conservatory! I urged them to think less about taking the safe, conventional routes and to study what they love, work hard at their chosen subjects and the rest will take care of itself. I truly believe that no matter where their passions and pursuits lead them, they will end up more fulfilled if the starting point is at a place where their true interests and passions lie.
However, when it comes to advising my children to take physical risks… I am very protective and a bit of a coward! One example of this would be the threat they have lived with since they were very young that, should any of them ever purchase a motorcycle I promise I will sneak into their garages in the dead of night and put sugar in the gas tank. This is not an empty threat! As far as their physical safety goes, I have warned them to, “be careful” more times than I would like to admit… more times than I know I should have. A good illustration of my over use of the phrases, “be careful” and “watch out”, happened once when I was in a coffee shop with my youngest son when he was about 4 years old. He was having fun running circles around a small table. Suddenly, he came to a dead stop and with a concerned look on his face asked me, “Uh oh… do you think I’ll get dizzy and fall down?” I looked over at the people sitting at a nearby table who were having quite a laugh over his statement and said, “You know, that says a lot more about me than it does him!”
Hovering, worrying and warning my children when it comes to their physical safety and well being is just who I am… like my mother before me! So, this leads to my most recent conflict. Since Eoin and I will be spending our summer(s) at Rose Cottage, it is my intention to enroll him in some sort of summer camp in Kilkee to provide him with fun and an opportunity to meet some of the local children. Because Kilkee is a resort town during the summer due to its proximity to the ocean and the lovely Kilkee Beach, it makes sense to enroll him in a camp that will introduce him to the many watersports that are so much a part of the area. In my pursuit of this end, I came across watersport instruction, NEVSAIL Watersports, that is located next to the life guard hut on the beach and offers adult instruction and certification along with summer camps for boys and girls ages 6-16. As I browsed their website I read all the choices of watersports that this camp offers… kayaking, canoeing, windsurfing, raft building, sailing, orienteering (whatever that is!), boogie boarding, surfing, fishing and power boating. The school guarantees high safety standards and states that, “Kilkee is regarded as one of the safest and most popular bathing places on the west coast.” However, my gut level urge was to run the other way! Do I really want to introduce him to, and perhaps begin a passion for, any of these watersports? Shall I risk having a son who spends his leisure time in pursuit of the ultimate wave?! Even raft building, which at first sounded a bit more tame, upon more thought, gave me visions of Eoin floating away into the Atlantic on a raft without an oar! And don’t even get me started on power boating!
So here I am, torn between a desire to provide my son with the opportunity to explore this new horizon that Kilkee has to offer him, and my gut level urge to find him a nice pottery camp! Do I chance my arm? Do I allow him to chance his?
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January 24, 2010 at 7:55 am
Margaret M Scarborough
… however, I think you will enroll him and be “on the beach” watching even if from behind a bush somewhere! I think it your case it will be YOU who are “chancing YOUR arm”. You’re a good mom and I know you’ll do what’s best all around!
January 24, 2010 at 7:57 am
Margaret M Scarborough
Second comment: that’s such an interesting story! I wonder if our Young Dr. Kildare (from movie and t.v. fame) is from that family? I loved that man!
January 24, 2010 at 7:31 pm
bloggingfromthebog
Margaret, you’re right, I will probably go ahead and enroll him… and then do my best not to worry!
I don’t know about Dr. Kildare, but I’m sure County Kildare and the town of Kildare are named for that family.
January 24, 2010 at 5:49 pm
Kate
let him join the water camp mother. after all you never know what horrible mishaps one can encounter in said pottery camp; dust in the eye, a slightly sharp chip on the cup he would make, or most frightening of all, a rouge pottery wheel…
January 24, 2010 at 7:33 pm
bloggingfromthebog
… wow, now you have me rethinking the pottery class… THANKS KATE
January 24, 2010 at 10:07 pm
lifeonthecutoff
What a fun repartee. I am sure you will decide what is best for Eoin, hold your breath, and he will be fine. Then, again, I am the ultimate worry-wort.
What an interesting story about the phrase “chance your arm”. Thank you for the history lesson, and one well told at that . . . and I haven’t thought of Dr. Kildare in ages. I loved Richard Chamberlain as the doctor when I was a young girl and then grew up and saw the movies. There does not seem to be a Dr. Kildare who is not handsome. Young Dr. Kildare. Was it Lew Ayres?
January 25, 2010 at 6:25 am
bloggingfromthebog
My problem is that I have enough of an imagination that it can lead me to all sorts possible disasters even years down the road! So, just when I get past the immediate fear of him just being IN a summer camp that takes place in the Atlantic Ocean… I jump ahead to thinking about what if he gets hooked and ends up say, a surfer, when he’s an adult!
January 27, 2010 at 12:10 pm
Patricia
Thanks for the info on chancing one’s arm. I have, rare enough for a Dub, been in St. Pat’s once or twice but didn’t know anything about the ‘door with the hole’. Despite your deep Chicago roots, you are in many ways becoming like the Normans – “more Irish than the Irish themselves”!
January 27, 2010 at 12:34 pm
bloggingfromthebog
My husband had NEVER been to St. Pat’s until I dragged him there! It often takes a foreigner to make you appreciate the things you’ve lived with your whole life, don’t you think so?